18 Feb

Talking Tips for the Tongue-Tied


shy 222x300 Talking Tips for the Tongue Tied

stuart miles / freedigitalphotos.net

If you’re tongue-tied, these talking tips are not meant to get you rapping two hundred words a minute, but to get you to relax and enjoy your conversation.

You can be practically tongue-tied for various reasons:

  • You get caught lying.
  • You get caught in a difficult or awkward situation.
  • You see the girl you like.
  • You’re nervous.
  • You’re embarrassed.

But for the most part, being tongue-tied is attributed to plain shyness. For many, it’s nothing but a simple inconvenience, a small glitch fixed by staying away from parties, avoiding meetings, or avoiding eyes and glances.

But for others, it’s an issue that’s no laughing matter because it impacts their lives seriously, almost like an impediment. They sink in their seats and are afraid to speak up in class. They become reclusive.

For a person with social phobia, a job interview feels like a death sentence.  

If you always feel like hiding from people, here are some straight talking tips that will help you get out of your shell:

  1. Accept that you’re shy. To deal with a problem, you must acknowledge that the problem exists.
  2. Recite positive things to yourself like “You can talk.” or “I’m not afraid to talk to them.”
  3. Accept invitations. Attend gatherings and meetings.

Shy people tend to be shy only if they’re in a group, but feel comfortable when alone with one person or with a handful of people. Chances are you have a few close friends around. Ask them to introduce you to other people, or go with them to meet their friends.

4. Stop thinking that the people you talk to are there to make you feel like a fool. They have other things in mind. Trust me.

5. Don’t overanalyze things. Maybe you’re always wondering if you’re making sense or not in a conversation.

We are told to think before we talk. But if we overdo it, we forget to enjoy the conversation.

Shyness can be attributed to a fear of being laughed at or fear of making mistakes in public. Don’t be paranoid. Most of the things we worry about don’t happen.

6.  Be genuinely interested in what others have to say. As you listen to them, you’ll feel that it becomes easier for you to reply and talk to them.

7.  Shift your focus away from yourself to the person or persons you’re talking to. When you think too much of what you’re going to say, then you begin to mess up.

8.  Begin with small groups. Don’t pressure yourself to be the life of the party so soon.

9.  Comment on things around you. Well, maybe not on the weather.

10. Forget about being too clever or impressive. You don’t have to obsess over constructing great and awesome responses. Just remember to be natural.

Shyness is not something you get over with by rehearsing situations in your head. Rather, you get over it by actually doing things. But we must realize that there’s always a shy side in all of us. It’s just a matter of what side we feed more: the shy or the confident.

Not everyone has the gift of tongue or the gift of talk.  But there’s really nothing wrong with being quiet, especially at the right time and for the right reasons. On a normal level, shyness or being tongue-tied actually has benefits.

  • You don’t end up with many enemies.
  • You’re able to process your thoughts and emotions well because you don’t busy yourself with much talk.
  • People think of you as a wise person.

Moreover, they say a quiet person listens loudly.  I guess that means he is a great listener.

I know a few people who were very shy in the past but are now in the profession that requires the most talking – teaching!

Shyness is something you can overcome. And being shy is nothing to be shy about.


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